How did I end up so passionate about men’s erections post-prostate cancer?

It was 2014. With a couple of Psychology degrees from University College London under my belt (Bsc & Msc), I was traversing into the wonderful world of Sexual Health Design. I was helping set up the (world’s first!) sex toy design program for students at RMIT University, and alongside that, working on the floor of a sensuality boutique (‘classy sex shop’).

Both realms gave me plenty of opportunities for real, vulnerable conversations about sexuality. I noticed many people buying ‘sex toys’ were really looking for ‘sex solutions’ for the physical changes following a life event (eg. child birth, menopause) or a medical intervention (eg. treatment for depression or cancer).

Each conversation raised common themes:

• A lack of discussion and education about these sexual function changes.

• Uncertainty on whether these changes were permanent or could improve over time.

• Little practical advice on how to optimise their sexual health.

• No ideas on how to create a great sex life with these changes in the picture.

It seemed the advice from healthcare professionals was too ‘clinical’ to translate into fun, connecting, sexual experiences. Google was overwhelming in terms of choice, and not tailored to specific needs

The conversations I had with people post prostate cancer treatment shook me the most.

How the physical changes, lack of practical information, and limited opportunities to have real conversations affected their emotional, mental, and relationship health were extremely concerning. I felt innately pulled toward helping in whatever way I could.

One particular couple changed it all for me. 

I met them 3 months following nerve sparing robotic radical Prostatectomy (the surgical removal of the prostate using a robotic device intended to help preserve cavernous ‘erection’ nerve function).

They were distraught.

They were grieving because of so many unexpected losses; the loss of physical response to stimulation, the loss of spontaneity, the loss of penile length and girth, and the loss of nocturnal and morning erections.

And, they were worried about incontinence occurring during sex and whether this was unhygienic, so they didn’t want to attempt it. 

They were barely holding hands in case it ‘led to more’ that then could not happen.

Their story inspired me to start a PhD. I wanted to research these problems from a ‘human-centred design’ perspective, rather than the usual medical model of ‘one group got Viagra, the other didn’t, let’s see what happens’.

The ultimate question…

‘What happens if we put understanding people’s needs at the centre of the design process?’

In this case, ‘A Touchy Subject’ happened. 

I started A Touchy Subject as an online educational hub in 2018 after identifying a missing link in the system: an option-led, ‘you’re in the driver’s seat’ approach to sex after prostate cancer. A place where people could access bite-sized chunks of practical information, learn about products that actually worked, and all from the privacy of their home.